Записки экономического преступника (dmitrygololobov) wrote,
Записки экономического преступника

Новый тест на знание юридического английского

BARRISTER: Were you leaning up against the open or closed door?

WITNESS: The closed door, I am unsure how you lean on a open door, there would be a hole there, you would fall straight through..
MAGISTRATE: Now Mr *****, are you the defendant?

DEFENDANT: No, I am the guy that stole the frozen chickens
BARRISTER: And you were trespassing because?

WITNESS: I was 'planking' for a photo

BARRISTER: Your Honour, planking is where one lays outstretched; face down flat, like a plank.

JUDGE: Well Mr ***** if you can resist planking for a further 15 mins we will be having a short adjournment.

COUNSEL: And is it true that then your wife would often beat you with a clear impunity?

WITNESS: No sir, it was mostly with a potato masher.

DEFENDANT: I would like to represent myself as I am not happy with my legal representation

JUDGE: On what grounds?

DEFENDANT: He is not interested in my case

JUDGE: Do you have anything to add Mr *********

LAWYER: Sorry what?

  • Post a new comment


    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded